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28 Funny And Surprising Family Quotes


1. "I believe in large families: every woman should have at least three husbands." (Zsa Zsa Gabor) Click to tweet
I believe in large families: every woman should have at least three husbands. (Zsa Zsa Gabor);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


2. "There is no cure for laziness but a large family helps." (Herbert Prochnov) Click to tweet
There is no cure for laziness but a large family helps. (Herbert Prochnov);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


3. "The capacity for friendship is god’s way of apologizing for our families." (Jay McInerney) Click to tweet
The capacity for friendship is god’s way of apologizing for our families. (Jay McInerney);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


4. "A two-year old is kind of like a blender, but you don’t have any top for it." (Jerry Seinfeld) Click to tweet
A two-year old is kind of like a blender, but you don’t have any top for it. (Jerry Seinfeld);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


5. "Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together." (Sam Levenson) Click to tweet
Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together. (Sam Levenson);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


6. "I’m so thankful i had a childhood before technology took over."Click to tweet
I’m so thankful i had a childhood before technology took over.FALSE
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


7. "Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground." (Francis Bacon) Click to tweet
Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground. (Francis Bacon);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


8. "I think all of us are always five years old in the presence and absence of our parents." (Sherman Alexie) Click to tweet
I think all of us are always five years old in the presence and absence of our parents. (Sherman Alexie);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


9. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." (George Burns) Click to tweet
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. (George Burns);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


10. "Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them." (P.J. O’Rourke) Click to tweet
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. (P.J. O’Rourke);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


11. "Spend some time this weekend on home improvement; improve your attitude toward your family." (Bo Bennett) Click to tweet
Spend some time this weekend on home improvement; improve your attitude toward your family. (Bo Bennett);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


12. "Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts."Click to tweet
Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.FALSE
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13. "Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore." (Ogden Nash) Click to tweet
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. (Ogden Nash);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


14. "Family is the one thing that is definitely not disposable." (Jenny Eclair) Click to tweet
Family is the one thing that is definitely not disposable. (Jenny Eclair);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


15. "There is no such thing as fun for the whole family." (Jerry Seinfeld) Click to tweet
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. (Jerry Seinfeld);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


16. "I looked up my family tree and found out i was the sap." (Rodney Dangerfield) Click to tweet
I looked up my family tree and found out i was the sap. (Rodney Dangerfield);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


17. "We’ve had bad luck with our kids – they’ve all grown up." (Christopher Morley) Click to tweet
We’ve had bad luck with our kids – they’ve all grown up. (Christopher Morley);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


18. "Maybe it’s just a daughter’s job to piss off her mother." (Chuck Palahniuk) Click to tweet
Maybe it’s just a daughter’s job to piss off her mother. (Chuck Palahniuk);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


19. "I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." (Erma Bombeck) Click to tweet
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. (Erma Bombeck);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


20. "Friends are god’s way of apologizing for your family." (Wayne Dyer) Click to tweet
Friends are god’s way of apologizing for your family. (Wayne Dyer);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


21. "Never have more children than you have car windows." (Erma Bombeck) Click to tweet
Never have more children than you have car windows. (Erma Bombeck);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


22. "The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf." (Bertrand Russell) Click to tweet
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. (Bertrand Russell);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


23. "Family: a social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." (Evan Esar) Click to tweet
Family: a social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. (Evan Esar);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


24. "I wanted to be the moron of the family, because morons seemed to have more fun, more freedom and more personality." (Alice Sebold) Click to tweet
I wanted to be the moron of the family, because morons seemed to have more fun, more freedom and more personality. (Alice Sebold);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


25. "Fuck it… that’s really the attitude that keeps a family together, it’s not “we love each other”, it’s just “fuck it, man." (Louis C.K.) Click to tweet
Fuck it… that’s really the attitude that keeps a family together, it’s not “we love each other”, it’s just “fuck it, man. (Louis C.K.);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


26. "Parents are like god because you wanna know they’re out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something." (Chuck Palahniuk) Click to tweet
Parents are like god because you wanna know they’re out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something. (Chuck Palahniuk);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


27. "When your mother asks, “do you want a piece of advice?” It’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway." (Erma Bombeck) Click to tweet
When your mother asks, “do you want a piece of advice?” It’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway. (Erma Bombeck);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast


28. "That’s the best thing about little sisters: they spend so much time wishing they were elder sisters that in the end they’re far wiser than the elder ones could ever be." (Gemma Burgess) Click to tweet
That’s the best thing about little sisters: they spend so much time wishing they were elder sisters that in the end they’re far wiser than the elder ones could ever be. (Gemma Burgess);  #FamilyQuotes
Note: Family Quotes That Will Improve Your Relationships Fast

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