26 Funny And Surprising Health Quotes
1. "I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol." (Steven Wright) Click to tweet
2. "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." (Mark Twain) Click to tweet
3. "It’s so boring to eat broccoli but so good for my health." (Maxime Lagace) Click to tweet
4. "The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it." (Jackie Gleason) Click to tweet
5. "Exercise is a dirty word. Every time i hear it, i wash my mouth out with chocolate." (Charles M. Schulz) Click to tweet
6. "After these two, dr. Diet and dr. Quiet, dr. Merriman is requisite to preserve health." (James Howell) Click to tweet
7. "Rule no.37. The whiter the bread, the sooner you’ll be dead." (Michael Pollan) Click to tweet
8. "Health of body and mind is a great blessing, if we can bear it." (John Henry Cardinal Newman) Click to tweet
9. "A man’s health can be judged by which he takes two at a time – pills or stairs." (Joan Welsh) Click to tweet
10. "Good health is not something we can buy. However, it can be an extremely valuable savings account." (Anne Wilson Schaef) Click to tweet
11. "If i’d known i was going to live this long, i’d have taken better care of myself." (Eubie Blake) Click to tweet
12. "Anybody’s soap is superior to somebody else’s stink killer." (Martin H. Fischer) Click to tweet
13. "Health is merely the slowest way someone can die."Click to tweet
14. "Joy and temperance and repose, slam the door on the doctor’s nose." (Henry Wadsworth Longfellow) Click to tweet
15. "A bad cold wouldn’t be so annoying if it weren’t for the advice of our friends." (Kin Hubbard) Click to tweet
16. "Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon." (Doug Larson) Click to tweet
17. "Money cannot buy health, but i’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair." (Dorothy Parker) Click to tweet
18. "I think you might dispense with half your doctors if you would only consult dr. Sun more." (Henry Ward Beecher) Click to tweet
19. "I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself." (Johnny Carson) Click to tweet
20. "To be stupid and selfish and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness. Though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless." (Stefan Sagmeister) Click to tweet
21. "First need in the reform of hospital management? That’s easy! The death of all dietitians, and the resurrection of a french chef." (Martin H. Fischer) Click to tweet
22. "Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." (Denis Diderot) Click to tweet
23. "There’s lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven’t the time to enjoy it." (Josh Billings) Click to tweet
24. "I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work till one is better." (Samuel Butler) Click to tweet
25. "Many people treat their bodies as if they were rented from hertz – something they are using to get around in but nothing they genuinely care about understanding." (Chungliang Al Huang) Click to tweet
26. "If you do everything you should do, and do not do anything you should not do, you will, according to the best available statistics, live exactly eighteen hours longer than you would otherwise." (Logan Clendening) Click to tweet
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